


Why am I your friend again?

by crookedcig



Series: Thirty Years of Borrowed Time [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Character Development, M/M, Super angsty, mostly plot, some character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 20:52:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2039724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedcig/pseuds/crookedcig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To understand where they end up, you should know where they came from.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 27 July 1999: New Jobs and Redheads

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after the Avengers but before Iron Man 3 came out (obviously) so it's sort of out of continuity there. (There will be an epilogue to bring it back in if you really need one.) This is mostly MCU but there are some things from 616 when convenient because these are my headcanons, that's why. The Pepper/Tony stuff is in the past, but discussed a few times.
> 
> Yes this is a work in progress, but there's already a lot written so hopefully I can give you a buffer.
> 
> I owe a lot to AO3 user braindelete for being the inspiration and beta for all this crap. Most of this started as text conversations between us and she provided a lot of information about Tony and Rhodey that I didn't have up front. She also wrote big chunks of Tony's texts to Rhodey. Thanks, huz.

**27 July 1999**

_9:00 AM_

Stark: Hey where are you stationed now?

Rhodes: Can’t tell you, sorry.

They both knew he could find out if he wanted to. Stark Industries satellites picked up where the device he sent messages from was located, but Rhodey had to pretend sometimes.

Stark: Can you get leave for my birthday? 21st. Vegas. My last hurrah

Rhodes: Last hurrah? What the hell?

Stark: After I turn 21 I have major responsibility at SI

Rhodes: Oh. Jesus, don’t say shit like that to me. I’ll see if I can get there in time. Some major travel involved.

One doesn’t just ask aircraft carriers to go back to San Diego because one’s best friend is turning 21.

Stark: It’s the death of my social life.

Rhodes: No it’s not. You’ll still have women hanging all over you. And now, senators too!

Stark: You have three months.

Stark: I’m in the Hamptons with mom

Rhodes: I’ll figure it out. Promise I will be there.

Stark: I think she’s trying to arrange a marriage

Rhodes: To whom?

Stark: Some senator’s daughter that likes me in swim shorts

Rhodes: Everybody likes you in swim shorts.

Stark: You remember my asshole friend Ty?

Rhodes: Yes. He’s an asshole.

Stark: We were playing ultimate with a bunch of guys on the beach and he kept tossing the frisbee toward her

Rhodes: Glad to see he’s still an asshole.

Stark: Next thing I know she’s coming to dinner on invite from Maria

Rhodes: Your mom really wants grandkids.

Stark: I’m like, Maria you’re killin me smalls

Rhodes: She just wants you to be happy.

Stark: I’m peachy

Rhodes: You continue to be a shit liar. To me at least.

Stark: I like being single

Rhodes: Doesn’t mean you’re happy.

Stark: Well I’m not unhappy because of my love life

Rhodes: I know that. I just don’t think she does.

Stark: Oh Ty hit Norman Osborn with a frisbee. Hilarious.

Rhodes: I just shot something out of the sky. I win.

Stark: That’s so hot

Stark: Oh hey, I have another thing to tell you

Rhodes: Shoot.

Rhodes: : )

Stark: SI is doing major work with the Air Force. As chief technologist I’m required to have an AF liaison. I asked for you.

Rhodes: a) I am in no way qualified for that job and b) awesome

Stark: Yes you are

Rhodes: How am I qualified, beyond being your friend?

Stark: You are the best at what you do. You have moved through the ranks ridiculously fast

Rhodes: I am pretty much the shit.

Stark: Howard is on board too.

Rhodes: How the hell did you swing that?

Stark: I told him we can Trust you

Rhodes: Wow, capital T and everything.

Stark: Damn straight. Or a typo. You’ll never know

Rhodes: I’ll assume the best of my BFF.

Stark: You are my bestie. But anyway, I wanted to tell you instead of you hearing it from your superiors. What even are you now, rank wise?

Rhodes: First Lieutenant

Stark: Is that like...high?

Rhodes: I guess. It’s an officer rank.

Stark: Do you want to be liaison, then?

Rhodes: Yeah. As long as it doesn’t keep me out of planes, it would be awesome to work with you.

Stark: You won’t be removed from active duty. You’ll be my test pilot and field escort

Tony definitely giggled when he typed ‘duty’ and Rhodey knew it. 

Rhodes: Test pilot? You’ve got a deal.

Stark: Sweet

Rhodes: Just promise me I won’t have to fill out tons of paperwork.

Stark: Your higher ups do that. We have fun

Rhodes: I’m all over that like white on rice.

Stark: And now you get why 21 is my social death

Rhodes: But I get to work with you after you turn 21. This is awesome.

 

_12:04 PM_

Stark: Promise me one thing

Rhodes: Done.

Stark: Okay so when you meet dad’s right hand guy Obadiah you have to call him the Dude. He looks like a bald Jeff Bridges (lol)

Rhodes: Not to his face.

Stark: Yes. I do it all the time. Tell him the dude abides

Rhodes: You’re going to get me fired on my first day.

Stark: He won’t. And he can’t. He’s actually cool

Rhodes: Alright fine.

Stark: Yes!

Stark: I also get an assistant

Rhodes: What’s her name?

Stark: I haven’t hired one yet.

Rhodes: Redhead?

Stark: Maybe a redhead


	2. Worst Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Rhodes and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

**25 December 1999**

_10:37 PM_

Stark: Is it late there? Oh, Merry Christmas, btw

Rhodes: Yeah. Snowing too. I’m stuck in a personnel carrier on a runway.

Rhodes: Merry Christmas.

Stark: Oh. So you are awake

Rhodes: Yeah, pilots usually are.

Stark: Oh. Um you busy?

Rhodes: Nope, just reading.

Stark: My parents are dead

Rhodes: Jesus Christ. Oh God Tony I’m so sorry.

Rhodes: Gimme a minute to get a phone. I’ll see if I can get clearance for emergency leave.

Stark: Why? You are busy and I”m gonna be busy

Rhodes: Don’t do that.

He always did that, always. He was such an ass.

Stark: I can’t even process this

Rhodes: I’ll be there in a few hours. I haven’t left the US yet. Just sit tight.

Stark: I’m in New York.

Rhodes: I’m jus tin NJ. I’ll be there in two shakes. Promise.

Stark: I’m just leaving the hospital

Rhodes: You still have keys to my apartment?

Stark: Going to the mansion. There’s like an emergency board meeting

He kept the rage burning hot in his belly instead of spitting it out at the other man, instead of forcing him to shoulder yet another thing.

Rhodes: Alright. I’ll be there.

Stark: He killed her

Something clenched tightly in James Rhodes’s chest then, and he knew that his friend was breaking.

Rhodes: Tony.

Stark: He was drunk and drove them off the road.

Rhodes: Tony I’m so sorry. Promise me you’ll wait for me to get there.

Stark: I can’t leave.

Rhodes: I will be there. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Stark: I have a bunch of old businessmen discussing my future.

Rhodes: It’s your future. Don’t let them own it.

Stark: They are deciding if I’m capable of being CEO.

Rhodes: You are. You know you are. Step up. The Dude will have your back.

Stark: He does.

Rhodes: Good. I’m on my way. In a car now.

Stark: Okay

Rhodes: What’s your head doing?

Stark: What?

Rhodes: How are you? What’s your headspace looking like?

Stark: I haven’t processed anything yet 

Rhodes: I’m an hour away.

Stark: I’m just mad. More than anything

Rhodes: You should pick things to blow up. I have five days.

Stark: Heh. I just...fucking drunk

Rhodes: I give you full permission to punch me when I get there.

Stark: I don’t want to

Rhodes: You should.

Stark: I’m gonna warn you now, if you hug me I might cry like a bitch

Rhodes: You’re allowed to do that.

Stark: I haven’t yet. But I know the minute I see you I’m gonna lose it

Rhodes: That’s ok.

Rhodes: Tony, you’re my best friend.

Stark: You’re my best friend too. Literally my only good friend

Rhodes: You know I’ve got you.

Stark: I don’t know what I’d do without you

It was easier to type than to say, with Rhodey still far away.

Rhodes: Thankfully you’ll never have to worry about that.

Stark: Well guess who just became a CEO

Rhodes: The world won’t know what hit it.

Stark: I should call Potts and tell her she got a promotion

Rhodes: Lucky girl.

Stark: Well you are kinda promoted too

Rhodes: I’d rather be your friend and have you happy than be promoted. Twenty minutes out. Jersey drivers can eat dicks.

Stark: You can have both

Rhodes: Hey.

Stark: Hey

Rhodes: I’m here. I don’t want to interrupt the meeting.

Stark: I’ll be done soon I hope

 

He waited in Tony’s room, where the sweet-faced redhead with quiet eyes had escorted him before retreating from the mansion entirely, unable to intrude any further on her boss’s grief just yet. Years later, she would regret this decision a little, but there was something about the look on James’s face that made her flee as fast as she could manage. He’d clearly gone off to war before, and was facing a battle the likes of which he hoped he’d never see again.

The Tony that walked through the door twenty minutes later looked too-full, like he was carrying too much inside of him and it made him move stiffly at the joints. The second he saw Rhodey sitting on the edge of his bed, his jacket off and his boots already set aside, Tony deflated suddenly, taking three stumbling steps forward until he headbutted Rhodey’s chest, all but knocking them both back onto the bed. Dissolving into silent, wracking sobs almost instantly, Tony clung to him like a burr. Gently, quietly, he eased the younger man down onto the bed, wrapping arms tightly around Tony’s shoulders and closing his eyes against the fury and pain that stabbed between his ribs. Fucking Howard. Always wrecking things and counting on other people to clean up his damned mess.

They were silent for a long time, his callused hands spread wide across Tony’s back and keeping him in one piece as he shook hard enough to vibrate into a million tiny pieces. They’d been friends a long time, the two of them, but he’d never had to hold the other man like this. Not even on that first Halloween when they fell asleep tangled up on the narrow bed in his room, Tony still nursing the bottle of watered down 99 Apples.

Eventually, Tony ran out of tears. And Rhodey started talking. His ginger-velvet voice, all soft and warm and spicy, murmured softly for hours, telling Tony about the first time he’d met Maria. About the things she’d said to him when they were alone, her husband and her son off tinkering with something or other and the two of them sitting drinking coffee in the big kitchen downstairs. The wishes she’d had for her only child, the way she’d looked so proud when she spoke about him. He wove a tapestry of good memories for Tony, taking his time and sweetening every moment he could dredge up from the catacombs in the very back of his brain. Making them all worthwhile and meaningful and giving Tony something he’d wanted for so long and never been able to allow himself: the comfort of knowing that his mother truly loved him.

Tony fell asleep by degrees, clinging to Rhodey and consciousness with the same tenacity. When his too-thin body finally went lax and his breathing slowed, Rhodey took a deep breath and allowed himself the small comfort of two tears, one for Maria Stark and the other for his friend. Tomorrow he would deal with the threat of court martial that he knew was coming. Tomorrow he would help Pepper make arrangements for the burials. Tomorrow he would sit in one spot and wait for Tony to need him again.

Tonight, he’d just hold on tight and weather the storm.


	3. 3 June 2000: Facial hair? Really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing JARVIS and the Van Dyke.

**3 June 2000:**

_10:53 AM_

Stark: So base of operations is officially in Cali

Rhodes: I assume someone on your end will talk to my superiors about a transfer?

Stark: Called this morning

Rhodes: Good, I’m in enough hot water as it is.

Stark: Really? Why? I haven’t seen you in forever, btw so wait til you see my new look.

Rhodes: I didn’t exactly get permission to take the days off when your folks passed. Coming back to bite me.

Stark: Who should I have demoted?

Rhodes: Hey I’m the one that went AWOL. I’m just getting passed up for captain this time around.

Stark: That’s not fair

Rhodes: It’s perfectly fair.

Stark: It was an emergency. My mom was like family to you. I’m like your brother!

Rhodes: I don’t make the rules and I chose to break them. It’s fine. 

Stark: Still

Rhodes: Tony it’s fine. I promise.

Stark: Well I talked to your superiors this morning. Maybe I could just put you on Stark payroll and then you won’t have to deal with it

Rhodes: I can’t quit in the middle of my contract.

Rhodes: And you’d kill me if I worked for you.

Stark: True. Hey if I’m slow it’s because I’m modifying the AI that runs my new Malibu dream house.

Rhodes: No worries. Now what’s this new look? 

Stark: You’ll see. And you can’t ask Potts.

Rhodes: Bullshit I can’t ask Potts. Did you grow a goatee?

Stark: ...it’s possible.

Stark: It’s a vandyke thank you

Rhodes: …I have a mustache. It’s like junior year Halloween all over again. Without the mullet.

Stark: I just had a mustache a while back and mom told me to shave.

Rhodes: You would look too much like Howard.

Stark: That’s what she said and made me shave it. “You look like your father.”

Rhodes: That sucks.

Stark: The vandyke is awesome

Rhodes: Get Pepper to take a picture and send it to me.

Stark: You should wait

Rhodes: Until what?

Stark: You see me

 

_1:15 PM_

Stark: I am the smartest man alive

Rhodes: Ok, I’ll bite.

Stark: I now have an entirely functional AI system running my house

Rhodes: Awesome. Can it put out all the fires you will inevitably set?

Stark: Yes it can

Rhodes: And what is this brilliant device called?

Stark: JARVIS

Rhodes: Like a butler?

Stark: I was basically raised by a butler named Jarvis

Rhodes: How did I not know that? You tell me nothing. 

Stark: He died just before we met.

Rhodes: You need to share this stuff.

Rhodes: PS I just got propositioned because of you.

Stark: Hi, have we met? PS by whom?

Rhodes: Yeah, yeah. A cute blond just offered me a blow job in exchange for an intro to you.

Stark: Nice do it

Rhodes: Not my style. Or my type.

Stark: Lame what is your type?

Judicious ignoring of that question seemed like the best tactic.

 

_1: 57 PM_

Potts: I was told you want a picture of Tony’s new douche look

Rhodes: It can’t be that bad.

Potts: <picture attachment>

Rhodes: ...

Potts: Yeah.

Rhodes: He doesn’t look like a douche.

Potts: You don’t think?

Rhodes: It’s kinda nice.

Potts: You think so, really?

Rhodes: Yeah. And Tony, I hope you don’t think I don’t realize this is you.

Potts: It’s not Tony. He’s fussing with his new toy.

Rhodes: Ah. Well, don’t think I don’t know you think it looks good on him, Potts.

Potts: I think it makes him look older.

Rhodes: A little. Suits the smirk.

Potts: True.

Rhodes: You like him.

Potts: He’s my boss. Highly inappropriate.

Rhodes: Also highly true. I’m not an idiot.

Potts: I like him, but I can’t go there.

Rhodes: You’re going to anyway, you know. They always do.

Potts: He’s too much of a mess.

Rhodes: Liar.

Potts: He’s too much of a mess and he’s definitely an alcoholic.

Rhodes: Shit. How much is he drinking?

Potts: All the time. ALL the time.

Rhodes: I can’t be there all the time. You need to start dumping it out.

Potts: I have been.

Rhodes: Ok. I’ll get some time in CA. You clear his schedule for a week.

Potts: I’ll try, but I’m not a miracle worker.

Rhodes: Sure you are, Pep. That’s why I got you the job.

 

_5:27 PM_

Stark: Rhodey. When you transfer out here you should come live in my big ass house!

Rhodes: Not sure why you think I can abandon my contract just because you’re my friend.

Stark: Who asked for that?

Rhodes: Moving to your house.

Stark: How is that breaking contract?

Rhodes: I need to live on the base or in sanctioned housing.

Stark: Really? Why?

Rhodes: Part of the rules.

Stark: Lame. Can you at least come party?

Rhodes: I can come over now and then, yeah.

Stark: You will like JARVIS he’s sassy

Rhodes: …?

Stark: What?

Rhodes: Sassy? I would have thought you have enough of that yourself for the entire house without adding AI.

Stark: He smarts off to me

Rhodes: You need that.

Stark: I’m gonna challenge him to a rap battle

Rhodes: You’re the one that programmed him. How is that fair.

Stark: He has a mind of his own

Rhodes: I still don’t quite get that, I guess.

Stark: You will see

Rhodes: I’ll probably end up at Edwards. 120 miles.

Stark: Ew. Don’t they have a better place?

Rhodes: Big dry lake means good landing strips for test flights. Better than San Diego.

Stark: But San Diego has sexy sailors. And big ships.

Stark: I’ve got a big ship

Rhodes: Sailors are not sexy. Pilots are sexy.

Rhodes: We do not fraternize with the Navy, Stark.

Stark: Damn right. Swabbies

Rhodes: More like carriers of every STD ever.

Stark: I’m gonna buy a yacht

Rhodes: How much extra is it for it to come with the girls in bikinis?

Stark: No extra. I have the Victoria’s Secret angels on speed dial

Rhodes: Your reality is way better than most.

Stark: Heidi, Tyra, Naomi, Marissa

Stark: Oh hey I’m going to Dubai next week

Rhodes: Don’t get arrested.

Stark: I’m buying a ridiculous party house

Rhodes: In Dubai?

Stark: Yes

Rhodes: I’m trying not to be bitter and failing.

Stark: You can go there any time you want. Mi casa and all that

Rhodes: I’ll keep that in mind next time I get leave.

Stark: l’ll make you keys

Stark: oh hey do you want my Ferrari? The red one. Only got like 1000 miles on it

Rhodes: ...seriously?

Rhodes: I mean I’d rather the Ducati but hell yes.

Stark: Yeah. I’m over it

Stark: You can have that too. I never got my motorcycle license renewed

Rhodes: Jesus. Your brain is a magical place.

Stark: Just never got around to it. Bike is mint.

Rhodes: I might need some privacy the first time. I may end up licking it.

Stark: Good thing I’ve kept it covered


	4. 26 March 2008: A Brief Respite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF.

**28 March 2008**

_1:16 PM_

Stark: So you are on leave after the Afghanistan Jericho thing, right?

Rhodes: Should be.

Stark: When we are done, party in Dubai

Rhodes: What is it with you and Dubai?

Stark: Well one it’s close and two it’s ridiculous. Who buys a party house in Dubai? This guy!

Rhodes: Alright. Just promise you won’t make me do anything that will get me arrested. Or court martialed.

Stark: Nah. Not this time. I’m eccentric not crazy

Rhodes: Debatable.

Stark: I’m rich. It’s eccentric

Rhodes: So if I did it, crazy.

Stark: Yes. Maybe


	5. 4 November 2012: Sing-a-long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even more fluff. FLUFFIER.

**4 November 2012**

_9:33 AM_

Stark: Turn around...every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never comin round

Rhodes: Turn around...every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears

Stark: Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years has gone by 

Rhodes: Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes 

Stark: Turn around, bright eyes! Every now and then I fall apart!

Rhodes: Turn around, bright eyes! Every now and then I fall apart!

Stark: Hope that made you feel nice and gay. Don’t ask, told tell. ;)

Rhodes: You are an ass, Stark.

Stark: You love it.

Rhodes: No, I love your ass. And you will appreciate just how much I love your ass tonight.

Stark: ...

Rhodes: Exactly. Get back to work.


	6. 3 April 2008: Rhodey-o

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves.

**3 April 2008**

_7:17 AM_

Stark: Fuck Thursdays, Rhodey.

Rhodes: Mondays are the days most deserving of fucking.

Stark: I have so much to do today. Don’t I pay people to do things for me?

Stark: And now Obadiah isn’t going to Afghanistan. 

Rhodes: They all need your direct stupidvision. Why isn’t the Dude coming?

Stark: He’s not cool. He doesn’t want to have an awesome time.

Star: Something about someone having to hold down the fort while I’m off pandering.

Rhodes: Whatever. His loss.

Rhodes: You remember all the rules, right?

Stark: I might need a refresher. It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these.

Rhodes: Stay in my line of sight at all times. Keep the GPS tick on you at all times. Keep your phone charged at all times. Helmet and vest on as much as possible (read: at all times).

Rhodes: Don’t do anything stupid.

Stark: I never do anything stupid

Rhodes: Bull.

Stark: I will behave. But I can’t promise the helmet and vest. They expect awesome.

Rhodes: Just don’t be surprised if I keep shoving them on you when you take them off. I understand photo ops. Not my first rodeo.

Rhodes: Rhodey-o. Heh.

Stark: AHAHAHAHAHA Rhodey-o

Stark: Well I can’t wear them during the demo that’s lame

Stark: Also I’m bringing them new shit too

Rhodes: What kind of new shit?

Stark: The lighter vests you tested out and some better rations from their friends at SI

Rhodes: Those vests were pretty great.

Stark: Yeah. And pizza from Famous Rays!

Rhodes: You’re bringing pizza to Afghanistan?

Stark: Yes

Rhodes: We are going to get mobbed.

Stark: Soldiers love me

Rhodes: You might get molested. You will definitely get propositioned.

Stark: So best week ever

Rhodes: You are a nympho. And you will catch something from the Army. I keep telling you.

Stark: I’m a man who appreciates a good time

Rhodes: Going back to work now.

Stark: Anything else they could use?

Rhodes: SAT phones to call home. Video cameras. Trucks that don’t kill them when they explode.

Stark: They should have gotten the new armored trucks last week. SAT phones and cameras can be arranged to arrive with us.

Rhodes: Seriously, you have no idea how great that is. Imagine if you couldn’t talk to me or Pepper for six to twelve months at a time.

Stark: That would suck monkey balls. Hairy ones. I want to give them anything I can

Rhodes: You are a very good man.

Stark: I’m going to hide from your compliment by playing it off as making mint off of a profitable war. ;)

Rhodes: That is only appropriate. Go pack, we leave tomorrow.


	7. Worst Three Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am here to hurt you.

**4 April 2008**

_1:42 PM_

Stark: Convoy ambushed under fi

Rhodes: I know. I see you. Keep your damned head down and put down your fucking phone.

Rhodes: I’ll get you out of this, promise.

[signal lost]

 

**5 April 2008**

_3:27 AM_

Rhodes: You asshole.

Rhodes: Fun-vee my left nut.

 

_5:49 AM_

Rhodes: I can’t believe you got yourself kidnapped.

 

**13 April 2008**

_7:12 PM_

Rhodes: Potts says I should come back to California. 

Rhodes: I told her to fuck herself.

Rhodes: I don’t think she likes me very much.

Rhodes: That doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

 

_9:07 PM_

Rhodes: These girls keep showing up at the Dubai house expecting you here. 

Rhodes: They all get really disappointed when they see my black ass.

Rhodes: I’m astonished by how much liquor there is here.

 

_11:34 PM_

Rhodes: I’m going to kill you when you get back.

Rhodes: I hope you are ok with that.

Rhodes: I’ll probably take my time and make it really hurt.

Rhodes: There might be waterboarding involved.

Rhodes: Likely with scotch. Though you might enjoy that.

Rhodes: Asshole.

 

**24 April 2008**

_12:15 AM_

Rhodes: They’re trying to declare you dead. 

Rhodes: I spent most of the day yelling at the Dude.

 

**25 April 2008**

_2:25 AM_

Rhodes: I’m going on forced leave. My command structure doesn’t think I’m dealing with this well.

Rhodes: Staying in Dubai in case something happens.

 

**28 April 2008**

_4:18 AM_

Rhodes: I’m tired, Tony. Really tired.

Rhodes: Mom called me today and sat crying on the phone for a few hours.

 

**10 May 2008**

_5:30 AM_

Rhodes: Back to work today.

 

**12 May 2008**

_6:48 AM_

Rhodes: Command structure is requiring I go to a psychiatrist.

 

**15 May 2008**

_8:13 PM_

Rhodes: She’s telling me that the texting is counter productive to my emotional health.

Rhodes: I told her to fuck herself.

Rhodes: My command structure wasn’t pleased.

 

**9 June 2008**

_11:53 PM_

Rhodes: You officially missed my birthday.

 

**15 August 2008**

_10:31 PM_

Rhodes: I hate you so much.

Rhodes: I’m sorry.

Rhodes: But I need to stop. I’m so tired, Tony. I can’t do it.

 

**19 August 2008**

_3:42 PM_

Potts: I just want to let you know they are calling off the search for Tony.

Rhodes: Have fun with that.

Potts: I didn’t say I was. I’m saying the company is declaring him deceased.

Rhodes: Obadiah is taking over, then?

Potts: Yes.

Rhodes: Alright.

Potts: I don’t like it either. I just thought you’d want to know.

Rhodes: I’m staying out here as long as they let me. Send one of the new drones if you can.

Potts: I will. Do you really think he’s alive?

Rhodes: I have to.

Potts: Good.

 

“How was the fun-vee?” First time he sees his best friend in three months and all he can think to say is that. _Goddamn it, Rhodes you fuckhead._ There was little chance that Tony wouldn’t notice just how bad his hands were shaking, but thankfully he was dangerously close to being fully dehydrated and wasn’t noticing much of anything at the moment. In that instant, Rhodey learned that he could hate a glove almost as much as he hated anything in the world, when the leather was the only thing between him and the other man, the only thing that was keeping him from being entirely convinced that he wasn’t seeing things. “Next time you ride with me, ok?” The almost defeated expression on his best friend’s face would have taken him to his knees, if he hadn’t been hell bent for leather on getting Tony into the Pave Hawk on his own.

They couldn’t have talked on the bird if they’d wanted to, and it was hard to imagine what either of them would have said. It was only a minute before the gloves were off and he had his fingers tight around Tony’s ragged palm, squeezing hard enough that the other man flinched and patted his knee when the tips of his fingers turned blue. So they sat, James Rhodes and Tony Stark, and were very quiet until they reached Bagram and Heathe Craig. The medic that did a cursory check of Tony thought about telling the lieutenant colonel later that by the time they landed the two of them were actually breathing in sync, but something told her that would be unwise.

The men and women at Heathe Craig were very good at what they did. He had to keep reminding himself that when they came and pulled Tony from the helo. He started muttering it under his breath when they put his best friend on a stretcher and wouldn’t let him do more than follow them like a kicked dog wishing that somebody would love him. He actually had to push on his eyelids with his fingertips, wishing that would make the words appear there, and say it out loud when they struggled to find a pulse.

Later, when Tony was hooked up to way more machines than Rhodey could identify comfortably, they were quiet with each other again. He sat on the edge of a chair beside Tony’s bed, fingertips just barely touching, and watched the sleeping man breathe. A nurse brought him water and something to eat, unidentifiable as he chewed and swallowed without tasting. People came in and out at regular intervals, checking on the measured beeps and too many tubes that perforated his best friend, pushing some liquids in and dragging others out without that much difference at all between the two. At least twice an hour, he reminded himself how good Army doctors were, and that none of them were Hawkeye Pierce, despite what he’d thought when he was eleven.

Much later, when a sergeant much smarter and kinder than he needed to be forced him to get some sleep, frog marching him to an empty room and tucking him into bed, Rhodey finally gave himself permission to shake again. Laying in the dark and pressing his fists tightly to his chest, he sobbed into the silence like Tony had into his chest years before. He wanted desperately for a moment to have someone to cling to, and then was glad he didn’t, happy to finally do his grieving in private.

Tony was kind enough to not say anything about the red eyes and the inability to look at the other man’s battered face the next morning. For about three minutes.

“You missed me.” 

“You’re an asshole.”

“You keep saying that word, I do not th--”

“Stop that. Be quiet.” And so they were.

It was very convenient that Tony was struggling to walk, it gave Rhodey an excuse to hold on to the other man at almost every turn. Helping him out of the wheelchair in the Chinook when they got back to California was the moment he realized that it was done. Pepper was standing there and Tony let go of his hand and he knew it was done.

“Your eyes are red. Tears for your long lost boss?”

“Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.”

There was a corporal that scurried off when he saw the look on Rhodey’s face then, fearing for his life. The knowledge that Happy was driving was the only thing that kept him from stabbing the back tires and refusing to let Tony out of his sight.

That, and the fact that the puncture-proof tires would bend anything he tried to shove in them.


	8. Nope, New Worst Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even sorry.

He went back to the psychiatrist after the fourth panic attack and got a small bottle of pills that he hid in the pocket of an old uniform in the back of his closet.

***

“What you need is time to get your mind right.” God, even just looking at him was impossible now. Seeing the bruised eyes, the too-skinny set of his shoulders. Tony was burning himself down to nothing and all he could think of was to rebuke the other man for changing. For becoming the man that Rhodey had known for years he’d be eventually. But he’d always wanted to be part of that shift, to help with it. And the new thing with Pepper made him angry enough to lash out, to wound them both with hard words.

He stopped answering the phone when Tony called him. At some point, he started wondering if either of them were bothered by that.

He wished he was stupid enough to be able to lie to himself about the answer.

***

“You ok?” Of course he wasn’t ok. The Dude had been trying to kill him all this time ( _I told you so_ his head was screaming) and he was running on reserve power in a battery that was barely keeping shrapnel out of his heart. Rhodey felt like he was about to puke, and decided to investigate later why it was that looking at a battered Tony Stark did way more to his adrenal system than piloting a jet in multiple Gs did. Later.

“Where’s Pepper?” That one hurt, a little.

“She’s fine, she’s with five agents they’re about to arrest Obadiah.” The look on Tony’s face made him want to grin, all teeth and threats rising to meet the raw violence in the other man’s eyes.

“That’s not gonna be enough.”

When he realized that all he could do was follow instructions (“keep the skies clear”), his temper was very quickly redirected at Tony, but only for a minute. He had a job to do, namely keeping his best friend in one piece.

***

“Well, good, because that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic. I'm just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public.” Rhodey wanted to smack Tony in the back of the head for that line of bullshit so thick he could almost smell it.

“Just stick to the cards, man.” What he really wanted to say was ‘Shut up, you know you’re better than this. You know you’re a great man and a good friend and you do so much pretending that you’re an asshole so that people will leave you alone.’ But that moment was decidedly not the time.

“Yeah, okay.” That was his NOPE voice. Rhodey had heard it enough times before to know, and he tried to keep his heart from hammering loud enough to drown out the other man’s next words.

“The truth is... I am Iron Man.”

No one was paying enough attention to him to hear Rhodey mutter ‘oh, shit’ under his breath and lock eyes with Agent Phil Coulson across the room, wishing for a paper bag to breathe into.


End file.
